The return of the roommate...

He comes out of the bathroom and asks me if we have any old newspapers. The bathroom+newspaper combination is enough to set my worry sensors, which are now tuned to him, on alert. After some time, he comes back with the plunger in his hand and asks me if it is used to unblock the toilet. By this time, I am in a state of full alarm and scream-" Ab kya kiya tumne?"
He gives a broad smile. I finally worm out the story from him. It turns out that he had clogged the toilet and in an attempt to unblock it, he flushed it.
Hence the newspapers.
Anyway, he then asks me to explain to him how to use the plunger, which I patiently do. After ten minutes of detailed instructions, I ask him if he understands. He confidently says yes and turns around and starts to walk away. Then he stops, turns around and asks-
"By the way, which side of the plunger do you use?"
I give up.

Meet my new roommate. Not being able to sleep peacefully in the night out of the fear of being murdered and shipped by UPS in a box by my old roommate, I upgraded to this new one. However, I use the word upgrade rather loosely. The jury is still out on which one is better.
Both of them are dangerous in their own way. While the previous one was likely to kill me, this one is likely to get me killed.

Another example. In a moment of insanity, I went on a trip to Chicago with him. And hence what has now come to be known as the "waffle episode". In the hotel we stayed in, there was a waffle maker kept in the dining room where you could go and make waffles for yourself for breakfast. One day, I am in our room, and my roomie comes after eating breakfast. He looks very pleased with himself and the conversation goes like-
Me: Why are you so happy?
Him: I set the waffle maker on fire.
Me: Errrr...why?
Him: I was trying to make waffles.
Me: What did you do??
Him: I poured some milk on the waffle maker, put some strawberries in it and turned it on.
Me: But you're not supposed to put milk in it!! You're supposed to put the waffle mix!
Him: Yeah, that's what the cook told me. He came out once smoke started coming out of the waffle maker and started shouting-" Who did this? Who did this?" He opened the waffle maker and saw squashed strawberries all over it and started screaming- "Who put strawberries in here?" When I told him it was me, he asked what I did. So, I told him. When I told him that I also put milk in it, it seemed that he was gonna throttle me, but I think he thought better of it.

There. Just another hour in the life of my roommate. I could give you thousands of other examples from just the few months I have spent with him. Like the time he gave someone a movie to act out in dumb charades but started to guess it himself because he forgot he was the one who gave it. But I think you get the idea.