Research- the razzmatazz and all that jazz...

Ahhh...I am slightly better off today...it's only 1:30 AM :). But considering that I have a class at 10 in the morning, I am still pretty late. :((
So, no time for small talk, my dear pensieve, let's cut to the chase....
Today's topic is one that is close to the heart of every graduate student.

Except me, of course.

Which is rather bad news for my department, which pays me a fair bit of money and a huge amount of tuition fee in the hope that I am going to do something useful for them and bring them everlasting glory or something.

Don't know where these people get these crazy ideas. I can sort of picture all these old,wise Prof.s waiting with bated breath for me to come up with some brilliant idea that no has one thought of before. Err...folks....sorry to disappoint you and all, but I doubt that's going to happen. I mean, there are all these people who have spent all their lives sitting and thinking about the problem I've been asked to work on. If there was anything more to be done about it, I'm sure they would have thought of it. I realise that my intellect may be far superior to theirs(please, I said, no sniggering allowed about anything I say on this blog) , but still, I think that since they have spent a gazillion times more time than I have on this stuff, they must have thought about anything worth thinking of.

I keep wondering what these people see in me which makes them think I can do "research". By the way, what the hell does that word mean anyway? Seems to me like it means to search for something which many people have searched for already, which sounds like a big waste of time.
Anyway, lemme look it up. Ahh...here it is... "Scholarly or scientific investigation or inquiry"
Hmm....I'm not quite sure what that means. Anyway,forget it, doesn't really matter. So, I was saying that the way they evaluate the "chemical potential" of people is rather weird. (Hehe...that was quite a witty use of the term "chemical potential",wasn't it? What? Do I hear a lot of nay's? Ahhh...well,perhaps the joke is lost on a bunch like you who don't even have basic chemical engg. knowledge) They look at which instt. I am from, my grades in my undergrad and my GRE score and stuff like that. Dudes and dudettes!! You need better criteria!! I can tell you how to do well in all those parameters without having the faintest idea of how to do research.
To put it succinctly-to get into IIT, clear one exam by mugging everything in sight for 2 yrs...
to get decent grades, mug up all assignments the day before the exam and yes, take a lot of humanities courses :P...to ace GRE, mug up that stupid Barron's word list from cover to cover in a week. That's about it. Do all that and these people somehow conclude that you have tremendous potential for research.

Let me tell you how I am going about trying to do research. I have been asked to find a equation to describe the behavior of viscolelastic fluids, which are a special case of Non-Newtonian fluids. (It doesn't matter what all those terms means). What I have done is checked out about 15 books from our incomparable library with the title "Non-Newtonian fluid behavior". Every morning, I go and open the index of a book and see where they talk about viscoelastic fluids. It typically turns out to be in chapter 10 or something. So, I open that chapter and try to understand it.
I fail miserably. Since it's still early in the day, I am still enthu and happily proceed to chapter 9, thinking that I'll surely understand that and can then proceed to chapter 10. I fail equally miserably. Well, still not losing hope, I proceed to chapter 8. Futile. By this time, it's about my lunchtime and I think that I'll go and eat my lunch and start again with a fresh mind after it.
I go and have lunch and come back and this time start the book from chapter one. I read the first page very enthusiastically and understand everything. Moving on to the second page, I start to realise that all this is stuff I already know and start skimming through the pages. Chapter 1 flies by really fast. I start chapter 2 and it again turns out to be stuff I already know. Same with chapter 3 and I am beginning to get really bored. I now decide to give chapter 8 a shot. There, I find that I still can't understand anything. I look at the time and see that it nearly five. I decide to give up on this book and plan to try a new book the next day. Output for the day-zilch. Awesome. Great. Wonderful.

Now this has been happening for the past 15 days and I am beginning to get really sick of it.
Obviously, I know that the sensible way to go about it would be too pick one book, read it from chapter one to ten and be done with it. But it is the hope of finding a shortcut that keeps me from adopting that obvious procedure. I am now waiting for the day when I get some sense knocked into my head and stop looking for shortcuts.

Anyway,that's about all I have to say for today. Reading thorugh this stuff, I realise that today's blog is rather too boring. Sorry about that,folks, but have to go to sleep now, no time to change it.

The song for today. Hmm...considering that the title of this blog is "My Conversations With Solitude" , I think that my favorite song for when I am lonely deserves a place really high up in this blog. So, here goes-

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

- Paul Simon

Ok, I'll also put a question tonight.
In 1998,which Indian movie did time magazine rate as one of "the seven terrific films you'll never see"?
As is standard practice, you can leave your answer as a comment.
Answer in my next posting.

Have a good day,people.

The First Cut

Yawn. What? Do I hear you grumbling,my precioussssss pensieve? Yeah,yeah, I know that "Yawn" is not a good way to start my first genuine posting on this blog. But this blog is supposed to represent my state of mind and since it is now 2 A.M. in the night, I am beginning to feel sleepy. Ideally, I was supposed to write this blog between 11 and 12 in the night, but due to unforeseen factors (as usual), I am running very late. So, even if you have any objections, my dear pensieve, I advise you to shut your trap and let me be.
Getting back to the main point. Hmmm....as I planned it, I was going to write about something on my mind and some song appropriate to it in every blog. Right now, what is on my mind is how to choose the song that I am going to put today. So, let's talk about that.

You see, choosing a song that fits my state of mind is a very tricky business. The problem is, 45% of the songs ever written are about love/romance and all other gooey stuff like that and the other 45% are about chronically depressed people on the verge of suicide.That leaves just 10% and unfortunately, those 10% lack depth. They are usually about some frivolous things like a Sweet Home in Alabama(Lynryd Skynryd) or A Black Dog(LedZep). I fail to see how a song about a Black Dog can reflect my innermost and deepest thoughts(Do I hear someone snicker? Dammit, I do have inner and deep thoughts! Everyone does!) so those 10% are out.

Ok, so that just leaves songs about love and depression. Now, love etc. etc. are a non-issue for me. So, it seems to me that the only songs left for me to identify with are the depressing ones.

Well, I don't have too much problem with that, wallowing in self-pity is kinda cool, but I do think that most of these songs ask for me to be a bit too depressed. I mean, my Mom is probably going to read this blog and if I put a song that makes it seem like I am going to go and jump into the lake adjoining my house ( Yes, I do have a lake adjoining my house. Cool, ain't it? )as soon as I finish this blog, she will most likely be a trifle worried. And we can't have that, can we?
So, you can see my problem. My choices of the song I put here have been severely limited. Life just isn't fair.

The only way I can see out of this problem is to already start bending the rules I had for this blog. Actually, that's fun. :) So, now what I'm gonna do is still put a song everyday, but it may not necessarily be a very close representation of my state of mind. So Mom, don't worry!

But, now that I think about it, this song business is pretty strange. These songwriters write songs about people who are deliriously happy or about people who are down-in-the-depths type depressed, and they seem to think that the only way a chap can be deliriously happy is to be in love. Ha! The idiots! I bet I could think of a dozen things that make me deliriously happy.
For example...like....errr....hmmmm..........gimme a minute here, will ya? Errr...well..........I would be very happy if Sachin scores a triple century in this match and India wins. Well, perhaps not deliriously happy, but I can't think of anything else at this very moment. Hey, gimme a break! It's 3 in the night! Besides, who wants to be deliriously happy anyhow? I would much rather be very happy but still be cool and composed and rather nonchalant.

I think that's about it for today. Since the theme of my ramblings today was songs and their lyrics, the song for today is going to be about music.

If I could dig down deep in my heart
Feelings would flood on the page
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would ya think the boy's insane? He's insane
I said I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it
I said I know it's only rock'n roll but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it
I said can't you see that this old boy has been a lonely?
And do ya think that you're the only girl around?
I bet you think that you're the only woman in town
I said I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it
I said I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it
I said I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it. I like it...

-The Rolling Stones

By the way, I thought of the title of today's blog while listening to Cat Stevens' "The First Cut is the Deepest", which is about how one's first love is always the strongest and the most painful, but that is obviously not the context in which I have kept the title. :)

That's it,folks.
So long and thanks for all the fish!

The Ground Rules

Ha! There are none...yipppeeee! I do what I like on this blog!
No,no....wait a second....if there are no rules, then what do I break?
Hmmm....I better at least have some plans for what I am going to do on this blog then.
Ok. Fine. Well, as the name suggests, this blog is going to be my pensieve. What? Do I hear you asking what the hell that is? Dude! Ever heard of Harry Potter? Anyway,if you wanna know what a pensieve is, check out this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pensieve
Ok,where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Oh,yeah....I was telling you what I plan to do on this blog. Well, what I will do is post my thoughts on various things that have happened to me throughout the day, or anything else that I may be thinking about. I also think that I will post some lines from a song that seems a good representation of my life at that moment.
And if the spirit moves me, I might also post a question that I have come across that day.

So much for the rules. Let's see how this thing actually turns out.
Onwards to my blog then!!
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here!